White House Down // DVD Review
The cinematic equivalent of having your head wrapped in flashing Christmas-tree lights while someone tries to surprise you with an air-horn.
Hey kids, remember Olympus Has Fallen? Yeah? It came out a few months back. Korean terrorists (for fuck’s sake) took over the White House and Gerard Butler saved the day. It was a huge eggy fart of a film with no redeeming qualities. Yeah? Remember that? Well, guess what: Hollywood has grunted, followed through and sprayed this squirty turd into our laps. White House Down: The film Olympus Has Fallen could have been. And was.
It fails on every level. The first act pokes you in the eye with so many neon sign-posted set-ups that the only surprise the film has left is how immeasurably shit it’s going to get. The second act is the cinematic equivalent of having your head wrapped in flashing Christmas-tree lights while someone repeatedly tries to surprise you with an air-horn. Finally, the last act plays like a laugh-out-loud parody of itself - a phenomenon I shall henceforth call White House Down Syndrome.
The thing is, it should be a LOT better. Director Roland Emmerich has helmed enjoyable popcorn romps like Independence Day, and the cast contains too much A-list talent to list. It just falls on its arse from the go-get. I think that may be because it takes itself seriously while crashing helicopters into the White House where Jimi Hendrix lives.
“Yeah, but is it better than Olympus Has Fallen?” you cry. Well, I’ll say this: If you see one Die-Hard-in-the-White-House film this year, that’s not cool.
Jay Freeman
