Pixels
It fails on every level.
Fuck this fucking stupid film. Fuck every dumb, lazy, intelligence-insulting, nonsensical minute of it. It’s rare that a film actually annoys me but, after two hours of what amounted to having Adam Sandler piss in my face, the only idea more appealing to me than kicking him down a steep hill is the idea of kicking him back up.
The plot was surely conceived by arseholes occasionally looking up from their phones and saying, “sure, why not?” Get this: In the 80’s, four kids – a geek, a dwarf, a fatty, and a proto-conspiracy nut – are really good at video games, and attend the World Video Games Championship, footage of which is sent into space (?). Thirty years later, aliens (?) intercept the footage (?) and take it as a declaration of war (?), and attack Earth in the guise of video game baddies (?). The original kids, one of whom is now the President (?), are uniquely qualified to fight off the invasion (?), even though the scenarios bear no relation to the original video games (in the Pac-Man battle, they’re the ghosts, in cars, for fuck’s sake). I could go on.
Coupled with Sandler not so much phoning it in as shitting into an envelope and posting it in, and Peter Dinklage’s constant impression of a dwarven Fonzy, we’re left with a film that could only possibly appeal to children, but whose entire raison d'être is only relevant to adults.
Seriously, fuck this film. It fails on every level. Geddit?
